acceptance

"Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full acceptance, even celebration of another's personhood."

-Karen Casey

The 5 months that was...

5 months have passed. Wow, it is almost the middle of the year. What did I do so far? As usual, nothing much. Nothing has improved. Still the usual me only a year older hopefully a full year more mature.

I wonder if I can ever be tamed. Someone almost did,but as usual, she disappeared. I don't want to be tamed now. This is what I do and this is what I will be.

For the past five months there were some changes though...Let's see, to recall...Let's start on January...I started losing weight. Did a dare with someone that I could lose a lot of weight in just 2 weeks. I was able to prove that it can be done. Then before the month ended, I found my way into the kickboxing gym again. Not long after that, sometime on February, I went in the ring and fought 5 fighters in one night. No practise, no work-out, just all in the mind...stupid mind. After the fight,kinda like a tune-up fight, I found out later that i got injured. I broke 2 ribs and tore some musles somewhere on my right rib side. Undergone a therapy because of that and it limited my movement.

March was hell and so was April then May came and I was officially part of system. Meaning! I was able to get a birth certificate! And then i can get a passport. I have an identity!

Prior to that somewhere on April I got apprehended by traffic police because i did not follow some traffic signs. A really stupid one, and more than a moron because i was driving with an expired license. I could have be sent to jail. Luckily the officer let me go with a warning and urged me to renew my driver's license. Which I did and was absent for 2 days in the process. I hate to be absent.

So far, it is the middle of May now. I was suppose to join a 5kilometer open water swimming competition but failed to do so. I did not have enough practise but i did swim again in the middle of a strong rain. I was hoping that a storm would be there on a weekend. Nevertheless, i did enjoy the wave, drank some salty water,burn me eyes, but the feelings of being so free and just let the will of the wave carry you is elating. I will do it again soon...swim in the middle of a thunderstorm. Do I have a death wish? Of course none! This is just the way I celebrate life.

It is almost half-way of the year...let's see what the other half could bring me.

This is what I live by...Learn the lessons of the past, live the present for they will be your past soon, a treasure and let the future take care of itself. The future also depends on what you do today.

Universal Prayer

"Universal Prayer"Jamelia and Tiziano Ferro

woh woh~ x3 na na na na

[Verse 1] I'm just the same as you

I could be the same age too

Listen to the same music you do

Everyday

No matter what separates us

The same stars we see at night

No matter what's up against us

Still gonna have dreams burning bright

I believe we fear what we dont know

We can be our own enemy

But if we conquered that

If you take my hand

I see a girl you see a man

[Chorus]

Everybody has the same dream

A dream in their heart

Get a chance to make a life

Love somebody they want

Open your eyes, we're all the same

We've all been scared

So lets sing together now Na na na na

In this universal prayer

woh woh x3 na na na na

[Verse 2]

I see smoking lights

That complicate a simple life

I'm here and you are there

Miles away

All you gotta do Is believe

That anything you want

You can reach

There's no limit to what we could be

so open your mind and set yourself free

I believe we fear what we dont know

We can be our own enemy

But if we conquered that

If you take my hand

I see a girl you see a man

[Chorus]

[Bridge]

And if you say that I'm naive

That I dont understand the world at all

You might be right but it seems to me

That we've come to far to fall

'Cause I believe that tears

Are dried seeds that've sown

The harvest time will come

And all this pain will go

So try to understand

We're just grains of sand

Every woman every man

Woh, woh (x3)Na na na na

[Chorus]

Everybody has the same dream A dream in their heart Get a chance to make a lifeLove somebody they want Open your eyes, we're all the same We've all been scared So lets sing together now Na na na naIn this universal prayer

[Chorus]

Everybody has the same dream A dream in their heart Get a chance to make a lifeLove somebody they want Open your eyes, we're all the same We've all been scared

So lets sing together now Na na na naIn this universal prayer Woh, woh (x3)

Na na na na...

glances

Friday as usual are the tests and today is the last test of these batch of powersim students.

I miss those days when you were here and I would glance at you taking your test. Actually I was hesitant to teach the class when you were here. I don't want to create some controversies. But no one else would teach.With you also, i was able to take a glance of how i could be and i want to be there and see how things are. I hope that it is with you.

To me you are perfect. I have met many people, women to be in particular but nothing compares to you. Indeed everybody is special and have their own strengths and weaknesses but you broke the moulds when i came to know you.

You said that you don't need any inspirations to make you work hard, that is your strength and to add to that you also have the charm and beauty,both the physical and the inner one. Your weakness though is that you sometimes believe that others are better or more beautiful than you and sometimes you are impatient. I may be not a good judge of your characters and of course I have no right to say it, i am just stating what I see in you. You have all the rights to disagree and condemn me for that.

I love you for who you are. The woman you are, the woman that you will be. I love you for everything. May it always be my words.

I can't wait...

"Patience is a virtue" as the famous adage goes. I have practised it and much as i can I want to live by it and have more, even extend it. I always wait. Because of this, i always have time on my side, but there is one thing that I can't wait. I don't want to wait forever just to say, I love you. So, i say it and because it is what i feel and stronger everyday. Selfish to say, but I need you, the one who completes me but it doesn't have to matter...if it really matter anything to you.Whatever is there to wait, i will wait. I'm am just around and always be there for you.

Distance have separated us but not of the heart.You may give up, it's your choice but i have given you a promise that i will be there for you. The promise band that i gave you means a lot. It shows my devotion for you.

Soon, you will see me and like what i said, i will see you through. I love you very much. I don't know what else to say.

same day...

It was a Wednesday when I met you and the sky was downcast too. Today, the sky is downcast and it looked like that it is about to rain. I'm missing you more. That's when we started to have our conversation. I love to look back to that day. My treasure. That day I made a decision that would change my life. I fell in love. You could have heard me saying this many times but i want you to know how i felt and how i would always feel.

I love you because I felt it. I love you because of the way you smile and carry yourself. I could go on, well, you get the gist. Love is really hard to know but on that day when you turned around before you shook my hand i heard this thumping in my chest. I got a heart! And I could feel. Hopeless romantic you might say.

Why do I love you? You could be asking that and how would I do it and how i would make things happen. There could be a lot of questions baffling in your mind. That's the least of your worries. Whoever you with, whatever you are doing, do your best, just do know that I love you. You will know more everyday and that someone like me exists.

1st of April

Good day,blossom! How is it for you? I hope that the spring is bringing you nicer things. I dreamt about cherry blossom and I saw on CNN a video of the blooming cherry blossoms. Really nice scene, making me miss you more. That's how I see about you especially when you smile.My blossom.Today is first of April and most of the western countries are celebrating April Fool's day. We don't do it much here in the Philippines but since we are influenced much with the western culture,some people do some tricks or anything to fool other people.Around the world also, they are making this awareness about autism. This day is also World Autism Day. Do you have this thing in the kindergarten where you are working? I had my encounter with an autistic kid before, i think i have told the story already,anyway, it was really a touching situation.I want to know more about them.


For now, this is just mere words since you can't see me but do know that I love you because of who you are. You are the most real person I have ever met. It shows in you actions, it shows in your eyes. That's why you are special to me. Everyday, i'm going to remind you of that. You may get tired of it,ignore it,delete it but it won't stop me from letting me express how i feel for you. I have never felt this real, I have never felt this way. I am going to let you know for the rest of my days. My love for you stays.


I love you.

SAY by John Mayer OST The Bucket List

Take out of your wasted honor

Every little past frustration

Take all of your so called problems

Better put them in quotations

Say what you need to say (8x)

Walkin like a one man army

Fightin with the shadows in your head

Living out the same old moment

Knowing you’d be better off instead

If you could only Say what you need to say (8x)

Have no fear for giving in

Have no fear for giving over

You better know that in the end its better to say too much

Than to never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking

And your faith is broken

Even as the eyes are closing

Do it with a heart wide open

Why?Say what you need to say (25x)

One of my favourite poems

somewhere i have never travelled

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully, mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

-- e. e. cummings

Missing You...

February 25, the love of my life left Cebu...she went with my heart. I do miss her and more as every moment passed but my love for her grows stronger as the same moment passed.
I am missing the one who completes me but soon we will be together again. Time would tell that and distance would keep us apart but I live in her heart and she is here in mine. Physical is the illusion, THOUGHT is REAL!!!
She may be far from me but each day would also brings us closer. With that thought, I have this new vigor, she made me better and would do and go for further more. I wish for her that she will reach her goal, i'm with her all the way. I will be there for her for the better and even closer with her when it is the worse.
Let the world know that in this place where we live, there are last things and things that last...my LOVE for her IS BOTH.^.^

I know that you are very curious who she is, who is this girl whom i am talking about...in time you will know. Let it be known though that someone owns my heart and I belong to her. For now, let your thoughts be as REAL as you like.

"Ego Dilecto Meo et Dilectus Meus"

A day at the poolside

My usual place in CPILS, the poolside. Early in the morning where everybody is still asleep and teachers are just creeping in, i would stay by the poolside and enjoy the cool breeze. I would read, listen to some music or just lay back and watch the sky.

On this day when i took this picture, the sky was very clear. Not a single cloud was in sight. The breeze was cool and blowing gently. I was reading one of my favourite books. This is one of my most memorable days...I wish i could experience the same kind of feeling i felt today again, some time soon.

For my Blossom, I love you...wherever you are

I love you. It's not a weight you must carry around.

I love you. It's not a box that holds you in.

I love you. It's not a standard you have to bear.

I love you. It's not a sacrifice I make.

I love you. It's not a pedestal you are frozen upon.

I love you. It's not an expectation of perfection.

I love you. It's not my life's whole purpose (or your's).

I love you. It's not to make you change.

I love you. It's not even to make you love me.

I love you. It's as pure and simple as that.

Go On Girl lyrics

Lyrics and Video

Ne-Yo Go On Girl

I can't get it back, but

I don't want it back, I

Realized that,

She don't know how to act

Never been a dumb dude

No I'm not dense

I Just had a slight lack

Of common sense

I was the good guy

She was the bad girl

I'm thinking one girl

She thinking me, earl James and

jimmy

Yep she had plenty

But love for me, she didn't have

any

I was inviting, her into my heart

But she was out riding in some

other man's car

She was my night time, thought I

was her star

Guess I was wrong, but see I'm

strong

Wont take long for me to move on

[Hook:]

Please don't worry bout me I'm

fine

(Please don't worry bout me I'm fine)

Only gonna play the fool one time

(Only gonna play the fool one time)

Trust me when I say

That I'll be OK

Go on girl

(Go on girl)

Go on girl

(Go on girl)

Go on girl



[V2:]

I can't get it back,

butI don't want it back,

IRealized that,

She don't know how to act

Tried to settle down and look what I get

Thought it was my time,

but I guess not yet

She at the bar getting drinks from many men

I'm in the house,

thinking shes with her girlfriends

Trust not knowing,

truly not knowing

I look back now like, man,

I was openI was inviting,

her into my heart

But she was out riding

in some other man's car

She was my night time,

thought I was her star

Guess I was wrong,

but see I'm strong

Wont take long for me to move on

[Hook]

[Bridge]

The mistake I made is clear

(we never should've been together)

Thats the reason you're not here

(I know that I can do much better)

Not a single salty tear

Not a feeling in my chest

Baby I'm feeling no stress

I'm too fly to be depressed

Go on Girl

Go on Girl

Go on Girl

Go on Girl

Quote from Antoine de Saint-Exupery author of THE LITTLE PRINCE

"True love begins when nothing is looked for in return." Antoine De Saint-Exupery

untitled thoughts

my heart was broken

but i was too sad to even cry...

yet i have to stand my test,

i have to take the pain...

it started so fast, it

ended as fast...it was

even faster...

yet i'm happy to finally

feel heartbroken

i'm finally human...

i'm free

i was made to believe

her words were lasting;

"I will never let you go

no matter what," was

what she said.

"My love for you grows

everyday."

All were fleeting,wafted by

the wind to every direction.

You know it was there,

savoured the moment...then

puff...it was gone

Women are really strange. They broke up with you and the next day you see them fresh as the morning dew. Here you are, so devastated and still shocked with was given to you on your face, but they are all smiles as if nothing has ever happened.

I dare not go there again into their world. One has taken my heart already.

I thought that i was ready

to love...and to be hurt.

Maybe I still don't know

what love is. There is no

textbook, no known formula

of how to love.

I have fallen in love with

someone,head over heels, no

doubt about that and she,

somewhat, showed the same

thing on me.(That's what i want to believe)

We had a great time, she just

fell out of love and decided

not to like or love me anymore.

I made a mistake somewhere, i know

i did, for the love that we have

shared has ended.

It was then i realised that

I'm still naive when it comes

to love.

The hurt will pass, the scar will heal

but the happy memories

i will cherish forever.

Will I ever do it again?

With the same person?

All i can say is that she is

a really special person and

with her i felt i was

so alive...

dead for now

Valentine's day! Bah! Humbug!!!

I'm a "scrooge" when it comes to Valentine's day. This is suppose to be a day when we celebrate the day of a saint, Saint Valentine. That is the Christian's teaching's point of view but the Valentine's day that i woke up with is all about business! Selling cards, chocolates and flowers. The prices of these stuffs would skyrocket on Valentine's day. Blame the law of supply and demand but i would blame those brilliant businesspeople.

Love should be shared everyday not just for this day since love is giving.

In few days now it will be February 14. Would i ride the band wagon? No fucking way!!! Do I have a valentine? Hmmm...None!!! Is it the reason why I don't like Valentine's day? No!

I just don't want to trust people anymore, especially women. I had my share of broken hearts of course and finally it stopped breaking. Someone took it and i let her...then disappeared. I don't have a heart anymore to share and I don't want to trust ever again. It is hard to trust humans.

To that girl who took my heart...I love you and I love you always...you told me those words too, i savoured it while it lasted. I believed that, "Love unexpressed is a crime against the heart." Damn! I was so naive to believe and let me guard down. I did have a good time with you, in fact it was the best one and also the darkest. I'll just hang on to those good memories. If you are reading this...BE HAPPY! I wish you the best for you deserve the best.

To the girls whom i will meet in the future, i'm sorry but you are just another person to me. That girl who took my heart changed everything.

Will I still fall in love? NO!!! Not ever, no more!!! Not in this lifetime. Will I change me mind? NO! Do i still love her? YES! She still has my heart. Will I accept her if she will come back to me?...I leave the answers to you.

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ZENSHOOT's World

Who is ZENSHOOT? What is ZENSHOOT? You can have any answers you like. In fact you can even answer this question yourselves. You can see my world the way you want to see it. What you see is not what I see.

Now, I am back into writing. Feel free to give me advise, voice out your opinion and give me whack of reality. I want to learn more and I want to know more.

Readers and fellow bloggers, I am now ready to share my world. Help me know what are the things the world has to offer.

Welcome to my world.

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