Running

I used to run all the time. During my elementary school days, I run all the time from my house going to school. That's more than 1 kilometre away. I would run along with my friends,then let some dogs run after us and run along with speeding buses,just feeling free and light.
I would even run barefooted. We even prefer to run barefooted. We believed that we can run faster without flip-flops. More grip on the ground, I guess.
I want to do that again. I can't remember when did I stop running barefooted or running itself for that matter. I think I just got out of shape. I've joined some fun runs before and even joined a full marathon once but nothing compares when you just run for no reason. You run because others are running. You run because you want to be faster. You run because you just want to feel the breeze and the rush of adrenalin, you run because it is real fun. "Fun runs" they say? A lot of that being organised and marathons and all other running events, but where's the real fun there? You have to pay for it. Why should I pay for that? Where's the real fun in it? I can't run barefoot any more. It is painful already. Why I can't feel the pain before? Maybe I just didn't care that time. Just run like the wind. Run because it is faster. I want to do that again. Free run, the real fun run, the pebbles,sand,grass and everything under my bare feet. Feeling the wind on my face and maybe some scrape on the knees.
I'm out of shape, but I think it is not yet late. I've read that there's someone who is even over 80 and still join some marathon. I can do that feat. I have all the time in the world. I am just plain lazy. Gotta run!

What's the weather like?

I'm no weatherman so I can't really tell how the weather would be,at least I can predict what is going to happen even without weather instruments...that was before. You see a dark cloud,you'll know the rain will come,for sure! BUT these days!!! I don't know what's going on.
From before, I can stay under the sun even at its hottest. I practise swimming under the big hot sun from 11am to 2am. That was before...now,I can't stand the heat even if it is still 8am!!!
Is the world getting hotter or my skin is getting more sensitive?
Oh,and when it rains,5minute rain,the streets will become rivers. It could be because the rivers became streets...or maybe the land itself is sinking...hmmm...i wonder.
What's the weather like from where I am? I can't say because it was very hot when I woke up this morning and the sun was so bright! I thought I woke up late,it just that the sun shone early and so bright. Now,on writing this,dark clouds are forming but it is still very hot. Maybe this evening it might rain again...and I just had the car washed!
The good thing about it is that I like rain and I like it when it rains around midday. When it stops and the sun comes out,you will get a huge sauna! The whole city feels like it is a sauna. 
Maybe the next time someone will ask me about the weather here in Cebu, my answer would be...sauna weather!^.^

Gabbi and Me^.^

This is Gabbi my 4-years-old niece. She spells her name as "G A B I B." Her explanation is that it doesn't matter as long as the letters are there. You can interchange it in any way you like.
She is 4 and I am 5...hehehe!!! Same brain waves. Gabbi said that she wants to be 4 years old forever. When she becomes 7 years old soon, she won't accept it. She has to be 4.
"Uncle Zen is different," Gabbi added, "He never gets old even if he sleeps."
This was our conversation:


Gabbi: McDonald's kitty won't ever get old because she never sleeps and she is just a thing.
Me:     Well,things would become old too even if they can't sleep.
Gabbi:  Yeah! and they get dusty.
Me:   Indeed they do!
Gabbi:  But I don't want to get old. When I am 7, I will still be 4, but I need to sleep and when I wake up I am older already.
Me:   If you don't sleep you'll get older faster.
Gabbi:  Why? You are a day older when you wake up!
Me:   True! But you need to sleep in order to rest yourself and restore your cells. When your cells are restored and healed,you'll even look younger!
Gabbi: Wake up younger? What are cells?
Me:  Ummm...cells are what your body is made of. Any living being is made of cells. Put cells together,you'll get tissues,put tissues together you'll get organs put all organs together and you will have a living being!!!
Gabbi: (Laughing hard) Uncle Zen, you're funny!!! So Angel (Angel is her pet dog) is also made of cells?
Me:  Yes! and the also the enemy of Gouko in Dragonballs is named Cell!!! (This is me trying to give a nonsense joke to a 4 year old kid)hahaha!!!
Gabbi: Yes! Dragons!!! They are cells also! (continued laughing)
Me: So,you should get some sleep so you will be better and be young as ever!
Gabbi:  Uncle Zen is different. He never gets old even if he sleeps. McDonalds kitty will be old soon...and Angel too! Do you know any dragons?
Me: Yes! Puff!!! He is a magic dragon!!!
Gabbi and Me: (Both of us are laughing!!!)
Gabbi: Is Puff your pet like Angel?
Me: No! But we sing a song about him!
Gabbi: Oh! I know many songs! Let's draw now before McDonalds kitty gets really old. (She continued laughing)

You NEED to hear it.

It was Friday, 18th of September 2006. Popped this dvd in my player,not so sure about the film but a lot of people told me that it is really nice. Hmmmm...i can't say if it is nice unless I watch it myself...I will watch it,it stars Jennifel Love Hewitt!^.^

" Ian:  I love you. 

Samantha:  I love you, too. 

Ian:  I want to tell you why I love you. 

Samantha:  It's raining. You know that, right? 

Ian:  I have to tell you this and you need to hear it. 

I've loved you since I met you... 

but I wouldn't allow myself to truly feel it until today. 

I was always thinking ahead. Making decisions out of fear. 

Today, because of what I learned from you... 

every choice I made was different and my life has completely changed. 

And I've learned that if you do that, you're living your life fully. 

It doesn't matter if you have five minutes or fifty years. 

Samantha, if not for today, if not for you... 

I would never have known love at all. 

So thank you for being the person who taught me to love. 

And to be loved. 

Samantha:  I don't know what to say. 

Ian:  You don't have to say anything.

I just wanted to tell you."

Curse me to smitherens! I can fully remember everything on that very night when I watched this film and it was 6 years ago! I can even remember how I felt. I am feeling it now!!! Damn! Damn me,damn my brain.

I watched this film because someone suggested that this one will be good for a movie class and so I did. I want to prepare for my class and I am sure that my students will have a lot of questions especially that this film is popular among my students. I can remember that I was holding a pencil,newly sharpened, and a pad of paper.

The film is obviously a love story and quite intense drama. This one just got me into thinking. We should tell our feelings to someone in any chance you get,in every moment that you can,in any way that you like as long as you can show what you feel for the person.

I don't really pay attention to love story themed films because I believe it is just fiction. It could never and won't ever happen in real life, but " If Only" was different. If only, indeed.

When I saw the date today,my brain suddenly brought me back to that very day. Sometimes I hate it, sometimes I would embrace it. I can make it work to my advantage, but every time I remember something, the feelings also come with it. The intensity of the feelings may not be the same but it still a feeling.

6 years ago,I watched this film. I watched it twice to pay attention to the details, I watched it again because Jennifer Love is acting and singing, I watched it again because I was able to feel and IF I am going to have a special someone, I won't take her for granted. IF that special someone comes along I am going to give my best to her and every moment memorable. She might be overwhelmed but I would want her to know, I want her to feel,do as she wishes.

Shall I welcome myself back here? After some hiatus, I am back...well, I am always here,just lazy in opening my blog. I do open it but never had the urge to write something. Just thinking about it. Now,I am typing what I am thinking...and there is nothing much,really!
I need to hone and sharpen my writing skills or else I will loose all of my ability. I haven't even reached the amateur stage. Starting this day, I am going to write at least a sentence everyday here in my blog,so it will have its use also. Nobody might read it except me but it will also work at my advantage,check my mistakes and then make revision. After all I am the strictest critique of meself.
Until then my dear blog. You are my world anyway.

This is my business card now.^.^ Can I tattoo this on me hand? When meeting someone,after shaking hands,they will just scan this on my hand and there! They can have my information instantly.

Let me be the first one to say it, I am a coffee addict! There! I finally said it! I am able to admit it.
Growing up, I was told that coffee is bad younger people. I have to wait until I am older so I can have coffee. Well, I waited for a long time and when I had my first cup...goodbye chocolate drinks! I liked coffee so much that one cup won't suffice. Black coffee? Love the smell, the bitter taste and most especially the kick it'll give me. Not for long! Like I said,one cup isn't enough anymore. I tried espresso,then doppio,again,one cup isn't enough anymore.
It is said that coffee will keep you awake. Part of military ration is coffee. Myth! No effect on me or whatsoever. I still can go to sleep in drop of a hat even if I have 3 cups already. Drain my blood and you will find coffee.
I have an uncle who loves coffee,black one,with his cigarettes. I guess he influenced my love of coffee,good thing not with the ciggies.
I know,if I have too much of coffee it is bad. So far,no bad effects on my yet. I hope none. Can I stop drinking coffee? I think I can. 2 days now without coffee and I came to write this. I want coffee now!!!

I wish this will come across. This is a universal message.^.^

This is reprinted with the permission of the author, Ken Crane (www.kencrane.weebly.com)

Caterpillar

Caterpillar kept eating the leaves .
Didn't know why, but he kept on eating the leaves.

Overlooking the surrounding plant, most of the leaves were eaten by the caterpillar.
But still, he could not stop his own appetite.
He moved to the another plant stem, and began to eat the lush there.

All the other insects were annoyed with this hungry caterpillar.
"What an ugly, and swinish creature!"
Other insects were looking the caterpillars in this way.
However, the caterpillar did not care at all about what other insects say.
He never cared about the environment destruction nor his own appearance.

So the caterpillar kept on eating.

One day, the caterpillar who turned very chubby looking, stopped eating and fell into a deep sleep.
When the moonlight started to illuminate the sleeping caterpillar, the silk thread started to cover his body.
He let this change happen to him.
And after a while, he was completely covered with silk thread.


Caterpillar entered into a dark and tranquil sleep.
And in the dark, he heard a voice.
The voice seemed to be calling the caterpillar.
"Who is this · · ·? Who is talking to this ugly looking creature?"
Caterpillar said to the voice.
"You seemed to be completely lost in the meaning of life"
The voice replied.

"Who are you?"

"I'm this entire universe"

"Entire universe? Do you mean that you are the creator of this world?"

"Well, you could call me in any way. Yes, some do call me Creator, but name doesn't matter.
So caterpillar, why did you call me?"

"No, I didn't call you!"

"But you've asked in your mind: what am I living for?"

"I certainly asked that question in my mind, but I never asked you to come here"

"But that is why I am here, because I am the answer to your question"

"Oh please stop that ! I am not interested in religion"

"Religion is man-made right? But you and are an insect, so....."

"Sorry but I have no feeling to do any stand-up comedy with you. Please leave me alone !"

"But you still did not stop asking, so that is why I am answering you"

"Once again, who are you ?"

"I told you. I am the answer to your question"

"Aha, now I see. I am talking to myself in my mind"

"You could interpret in any way you like, but that is a proof that you still want to continue living"

"No, I don't want to live any longer. I can't find any meaning to continue my life by just eating and growing fat ! So let me enter to the eternal sleep"

"If that is your wish, do what you want to do"

"........Aren't you going to help me?"

"I do not help anyone. What I do is just respect the choice of all living creature"

"Oh my God......!!"

"You seems like you do not understand me very well. I'm a being that is called process"

"Does a process have a personality ? I can't believe that process itself could communicate"

"Oh, but you are talking to me"

"Could you please explain to me in easier way? As you can see, I am just a stupid little caterpillar"

"I am all the material of this universe.
And you are an existence to choose what to do with those material.
The Sun has chosen to shine by collecting the gas floating in space.
The Earth has chosen to rotate around the sun using the sun's gravity.
Terrestrial plants on Earth has chosen to bloom flowers using the energy of the sun.
And that is what is called creation and evolution.
And I am this process itself.
You must choose what to do and what to be using this process.
Once you have chosen what to be with your will,
you will be able to experience the miracle.
· · ·Don't you want to see a miracle?"

"Yes , of course I want to see a miracle. But didn't you tell me that you won't help anyone?"

"No I won't, because I am just an equation of this universe.
However, to complete this equation, your courage and your decision are indispensable"

"Do you believe that a caterpillar like me have a courage and a decision?"

"That is exactly what I need from you! Believe me, this universe and all living thing has made an evolution in such way"

"Do you mean that you need my help?"

"Yes, of course.
Without your choice, this universe could not move even a single step forward.
We are the co-creator of this universe and nature "

"I always thought that God was taking control of everything!!"

"That's not true. Without your decision, the universe is going to 
stop completely.
All the material and condition are prepared. And they are waiting for your decision.
The rest is up to you"

"Do you mean that you are going to neglect us after that?"

"No no, once you showed me your true courage, and chose your best choice, the entire universe is going to help you to achieve your wish"

"· · ·But somehow, I can not believe that"

"Hmm. If that is your choice, the choice is going to come true"
"What do you mean?"

"You are going to spend the rest of your life in your cocoon, mumbling to yourself in your mind"
"I never thought that God was such indecisive!"

"If you stay indecisive, entire universe is going to create an environment for you to be indecisive. 
I am not creating your reality, you are choosing your reality with your free will"

"But I thought that this universe which you've created was the reality!"

"No. You do not understand what reality is.
The reality is a choice you make in every single moment.
And all of you have a right to achieve your glory by making a choice with your own free will!"

"Even a caterpillar like me?"

"Yes. Have you ever seen a crystal of snowflake?"

"Ah, yes I saw one very closely this early spring when it was snowing.
I really thought that it was beautiful!
Truly a creative work by you"

"Thank you. But however, once again, I did not create anything.
I am just preparing the condition; the condition for the water to freeze on a certain temperature"

"Then who created the crystal of snowflake?"

"Water molecules. They have chosen what to be when they freeze"

"Does a water have their will?"

"All the existence in entire universe has their own will.
Water has chosen to express the beauty of universe in a process of freezing. That's why all shapes of the snowflake crystals are different.
If I am creating all the crystals, all of the crystal's shape should be the same. Right?"

"I see. So you are telling me that we caterpillars are also the same "

"Once again, I am not the creator. You are.
I am just preparing the condition. And I am the process of what you choose to be.
You could always choose your highest desire, and the process to your highest desire is called a miracle.
Don't you think that the snow crystal is a miracle?
I'm always amazed by their beauty all the time!!"

"It is my surprise to know that God gets amazed!"

"Oh, I'm amazed every day. 
Because your choice is always unexpected"

"Please wait! I always thought that you are in control of our destiny!"

"That's impossible. Because you are the one who is in charge of your own destiny.
As I said many times, you are the creator of your own reality.
The joy and the meaning to your life is nothing but a joy of creation.
So stop being so defensive.
The essence of the living creature is to spread.
You shouldn't be shrinking and submerged at the place you are. You aren't a rock,  so you have to choose your own destiny as a caterpillar!"

"My own destiny?"

"Yes, your destiny. Do you know a creature called human being?"

"I know. Few days ago, I was almost about to be caught and crushed by a human being. Why are you asking me that question?"

"Did you know that you caterpillar's and human being's gene has no much difference?"

"How come? Human being is so big and complicated, but I am so small as you can see"

"But at the level of gene, there are not much difference between yours and human being"

"I can't believe that! How come human beings are much clever than a caterpillar?"

"Because human beings has chosen to become clever"

"With their own free will?"

"Exactly. I just prepared the genetic condition.
How you could evolute will be determined by the free will of each species.
Human being has chosen to enlarge their brain over thousands of years. They have enlarged their brain to witness the mystery of this world"

"That is really amazing. And that is chagrin for me"

"Why? Do you want to be smart like human being?"

"No, I have no interest in being a witness of a mystery.
Instead, I want to express myself as a mystery of the universe!"

"Ah, finally you are telling me your own dream! Go on, my friend, what is your dream?"

"Like those beautiful snow flake,  I wanted to be reborn as a most beautiful existence of this universe!
All of the other insects called me an ugly creature, and human being almost killed me by looking at my appearance!
God, I want to be beautiful and want to look down on them!"

"Is that your wish?"

"Yes, I want other insects to feel envious by becoming beautiful.
And also I want to have an attention of human beings by expressing the mystery of the universe!"

"Sounds like a revenge"

"Am I wrong?"

"No, no......It's pretty good, my friend caterpillar!
I am very impressed to hear your dream, because you are  choosing your real true wish from the bottom of your heart.
Now, I am talking to who you want to be, and not to who you were."

"God, I am starting to realize you and I are one!"

"I am very happy to know your awareness, my friend.
Yes, your choice and the process are nothing but yourself.
In other words, you and I are one.
You are not an existence called a caterpillar.
You are a process of your own dream.
One thing you should know is that there are no solid matter in this nature.
There is nothing stable, but just a process like a flowing river.
If you can accept that truth, your wish will come true"

"Could you lend me your hand to be reborn?"

"There is no need to ask me anything, because you are I.
You already know the answer"

"Yes I know, but still I want to hear it from you"

"OK. The entire universe will strongly encourage you to change into what you want to be.
Go to sleep, my friend. And when you rise from the deep sleep,
you will forget about me, but I will promise you that you are going to experience your miracle"


And then, the voice has gone away, caterpillar fell into a deep sleep.
The rapid cell division has begun within the caterpillar's body.
Within the deep sleep, caterpillar felt the body changing, but he accepted the change and waited for that time to come.

After few weeks, an insect which used to be a caterpillar came out from its cocoon.
Its body ached and the light dazzled his eyes.
An insect thought, I wonder why so bright?
He didn't notice his eyes has changed so big.
He felt he has changed to a completely different creature.

And eventually, the butterfly which used be a caterpillar came out from its cocoon and spread out his wings in the morning light.
When he saw his own wings with his new eyes, he was surprised of its beauty.
"So that's why he gave me such a big eyes to see!"
But however, the butterfly couldn't recall who "he" was, but was very satisfied with his beautiful appearance.
"So this is the color of the world!!"
When he was a caterpillar, he couldn't see any colors, but now with new eyes, he could see all the colors of the world.

The world was filled with various colors, and they were all beautiful.
And he could now even smell the fragrances of the flowers.
Those fragrances were drifting from the beautiful flowers around him.

Butterfly is now full of vitality, and was very happy.
He tried to move his wings.
He thought he heard a voice say "Try fly up in the air".

"Oh, but that's impossible! I'm just a fat caterpillar!"

"You are no longer a fat caterpillar, my friend. You are a butterfly"
Once again, he thought he heard the voice.

So the butterfly moved its wings more vigorously.
Then finally, very slowly he floated in the air.
He had found out how to control its wings, so he went up higher and higher to the sky.
It was such a great view, and the world was much larger and beautiful than he expected.

And so the butterfly with a beautiful wings took off into the blue sky to enjoy his voyage.
All other insects were watching him fly away enviously.