“I believe a soulmate is someone with whom you share a deep and profound connection and feel that you can completely be yourself. Someone you love unconditionally, and who loves you unconditionally, and when you look into their eyes you have the experience of being at “home.” ” ~Arielle Ford

Have I found my soulmate? I believe I have! She lives across the Pacific,far from me but I felt the connection with her. Receiving her hug really felt that I am "home." She is my home and I will go home to her.
Will we grow old together? I would like to see that. I will leave everything to her. In my part, I am very sure already that she's the one for me.

Seeing about a girl.

• I had to see about a girl.

  I will cross the miles in order to be with her. 

  I guess every man on this Earth will do the same thing that I have done when they meet their special someone. Anything and everything can be done so you can be with your girl.
  My story with this girl is a fairy tale in its own way. There may not faeries involved, but the girl I have is a princess! So,when she asked me to be with her somewhere far from where I am,if there was a flying carpet or the dragonballs cloud, I flew to her right away. People asked me why I'm doing this...it is because I love her!^.^
  This special girl for me is my match in every way. I guess even better. I'm sure her sense of humour and patience is way much better than mine. I want to be with her all the time.
  I went to see about this girl not knowing the future would be, but then I asked her to marry me! A very exciting future it is going to be.^.^

On Missing

miss - v.tr. - To feel the lack or loss of... ex. Do you miss your family?

I have never missed someone so much in my life...alive,that is. I missed my grandparents so much. They went to some place that I can't follow. Well,at least not yet. Maybe I was really designed differently. I lack the real emotions that the regular humans would feel. I think differently. I wonder who taught me that.

And now,here comes this girl. I even barely know her, but I am head over heels on her. Let's get this straight, I am in love with her. There's no "why's", "how's", I just know and I just feel it...and I miss her.

Let me try to explain the feeling...it felt that if I can't see or hold her,I feel empty. I felt that for the first time when I didn't see her...it was a weekend,she didn't go to school. I felt empty yet something inside me felt like it is being squeezed...hard! If I don't see her,I always look forward for the next day because I will have that chance to be with her. I will say this again and again...she completes me.

I don't usually show my feelings but I want it to me known that I miss her...I miss my CAT. If anyone who has the chance to read this and knows my CAT,please tell her that I miss hear and I only miss her when I breathe and that my love for her is true and so shall I remain with my CAT.

Do I feel that I miss someone? Yes! I feel the lack of something or someone important and so dear to me. So let it be known that I do feel missing someone...missing my CAT.^.^

The CAT who took my heart

I am not writing here a book on Dr. Seuss, I love his books though,for the record and I grew up with it.
This is about a person,a girl,to be exact,who wanted to be known as "CAT."
I've met her in the last quarter of 2012. I can really say that on that day, it was really special. Everyday is special indeed, but that day was extra special. She walked in the room and into my life...and like a cat, she walked in with style. She was the only one that got my attention! There were many who entered a building and for me it is just another person,well,she's not! Like I said, she's got my attention. From then on, I learned how to pray and learnt that I've got a heart that beats like a drum! I've never thought that it was there inside the hollow cavity in my body. It leapt when CAT was in sight.
I wasn't expecting anything,not expecting that I would fall so hard. Call me a fool but I heard someone said that when one is in love,everybody is a fool,there's no exception to the rule.
The very first thing I noticed about her was her smile and when she smiles, you can see those cute dimples on her face. That smile makes my knees shake. I don't know why.
I've got the chance to stand next to her and for the first time in my life, I can't think straight. Maybe this is how a teenager felt the first time they fell in love. Honestly,I didn't ever feel such a thing. From that moment,my brain and heart agreed, "It is her...or be alone." How can I be so sure about it? The future is sure, I will just do what I can today.
I was always waiting for an opportunity but if I won't do anything, nothing would ever happen...then she left. Again,the only time in my life that I regretted so much. I had some regrets in my life but not as big as this. I should have done something, I should have, at the very least, talk to her and know a little bit about her.
My hopes went high when I learned that she is coming back. This time, I will be ready. This time I will seize that chance...this time, I will...and I'm very nervous again. She isn't even back yet.
Then,she was back and this time I made sure that I will have the chance to talk to her. Luck was on my side, I was given the best opportunity to talk to her. I was assigned to be in her class because her teacher was absent. I should thank that teacher. I did my best to be her teacher that time and despite the nervousness, I think I made it through without losing my mind,though it almost came to a point. She's so cute!!! But I have to be professional. I'm at work and I shall give her my best. It was then when she asked what I usually do in my free time. This is my chance! I told her what I do and casually asked her if she would like to join. When she said she'd like to go with me, I'm in a new world. She just didn't know how happy she made me that day. So that's how it started that I fell in love with CAT and she took my heart with her.
2012 was about to end and I am not really into celebrating new year. For me it is always the same,but this is not the same. Maybe I will have the chance to spend a new year's eve with someone special. I took the chance to ask her out when she said that she wanted to wear a dress and have dinner. So I invited her that we will have a dinner together and that she can wear a dress. That made me really excited and for the first time in my life,I was a nervous wreck.
New Year's eve came and we planned to go to a mountain area where you can observe the fireworks. It was really good that I took her there,of all my new years, 2013 was the best. We stayed there until the morning to watch the new year's sunrise and it was a new sunrise for me as well. Here is a girl with me,who I think is extra-ordinary. I am sure she won't agree,but she can't see what I see.
My 2013 started very great,even if I don't really follow time. I have all the time in the world with my CAT. With her,it is always "one more day." One more day to be with her even if she is away. One more day that I can be with her. One more day that I can give my love to her...one more day that I give myself and everything else to her. It is to be with CAT or be alone with a cat.
I am going to keep her and I will take care of my CAT. I will make her happy and share my happiness with her. I have nothing else to ask in this world. I have my CAT...Mix-chan, Nakajima Satomi. I love her and I love her every moment. I love her wherever she may be. I love her because I am at home in her embrace, I love her because I kept on falling in love with her. I have the whole future ahead to know her more and to love her more. Indeed,she is my happiness.
CAT took my heart and I am letting her keep it.

This is my CAT with her cat.^.^

2013

Hello 2013!!! 
If I have to follow the norms of the society then I have to greet everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR! I also wish that everyone is going to have a great year ahead of them. Following time again, my 2013 started really great! Unlike my start of 2012, it was a lonely one. 2012 for me ended with a bang and 2013 started even with a bigger bang! And, I didn't have to celebrate the new year alone. It was a great start of the year.
As they say, "Every beginning has an end, but every end is a new beginning." My 2012 began as a dud, but ended up great so I face 2013 with a greater expectation. I know that it will end,but I have high hope for the beginning and end cycle.
For 2013, I have to thank "CAT." She made everything great. Will it end what we began? Yes! Definitely! I will end up with her. How can I be so sure about it? Because in the end,the very last of it, I am going to be there.

Running

I used to run all the time. During my elementary school days, I run all the time from my house going to school. That's more than 1 kilometre away. I would run along with my friends,then let some dogs run after us and run along with speeding buses,just feeling free and light.
I would even run barefooted. We even prefer to run barefooted. We believed that we can run faster without flip-flops. More grip on the ground, I guess.
I want to do that again. I can't remember when did I stop running barefooted or running itself for that matter. I think I just got out of shape. I've joined some fun runs before and even joined a full marathon once but nothing compares when you just run for no reason. You run because others are running. You run because you want to be faster. You run because you just want to feel the breeze and the rush of adrenalin, you run because it is real fun. "Fun runs" they say? A lot of that being organised and marathons and all other running events, but where's the real fun there? You have to pay for it. Why should I pay for that? Where's the real fun in it? I can't run barefoot any more. It is painful already. Why I can't feel the pain before? Maybe I just didn't care that time. Just run like the wind. Run because it is faster. I want to do that again. Free run, the real fun run, the pebbles,sand,grass and everything under my bare feet. Feeling the wind on my face and maybe some scrape on the knees.
I'm out of shape, but I think it is not yet late. I've read that there's someone who is even over 80 and still join some marathon. I can do that feat. I have all the time in the world. I am just plain lazy. Gotta run!

What's the weather like?

I'm no weatherman so I can't really tell how the weather would be,at least I can predict what is going to happen even without weather instruments...that was before. You see a dark cloud,you'll know the rain will come,for sure! BUT these days!!! I don't know what's going on.
From before, I can stay under the sun even at its hottest. I practise swimming under the big hot sun from 11am to 2am. That was before...now,I can't stand the heat even if it is still 8am!!!
Is the world getting hotter or my skin is getting more sensitive?
Oh,and when it rains,5minute rain,the streets will become rivers. It could be because the rivers became streets...or maybe the land itself is sinking...hmmm...i wonder.
What's the weather like from where I am? I can't say because it was very hot when I woke up this morning and the sun was so bright! I thought I woke up late,it just that the sun shone early and so bright. Now,on writing this,dark clouds are forming but it is still very hot. Maybe this evening it might rain again...and I just had the car washed!
The good thing about it is that I like rain and I like it when it rains around midday. When it stops and the sun comes out,you will get a huge sauna! The whole city feels like it is a sauna. 
Maybe the next time someone will ask me about the weather here in Cebu, my answer would be...sauna weather!^.^

Gabbi and Me^.^

This is Gabbi my 4-years-old niece. She spells her name as "G A B I B." Her explanation is that it doesn't matter as long as the letters are there. You can interchange it in any way you like.
She is 4 and I am 5...hehehe!!! Same brain waves. Gabbi said that she wants to be 4 years old forever. When she becomes 7 years old soon, she won't accept it. She has to be 4.
"Uncle Zen is different," Gabbi added, "He never gets old even if he sleeps."
This was our conversation:


Gabbi: McDonald's kitty won't ever get old because she never sleeps and she is just a thing.
Me:     Well,things would become old too even if they can't sleep.
Gabbi:  Yeah! and they get dusty.
Me:   Indeed they do!
Gabbi:  But I don't want to get old. When I am 7, I will still be 4, but I need to sleep and when I wake up I am older already.
Me:   If you don't sleep you'll get older faster.
Gabbi:  Why? You are a day older when you wake up!
Me:   True! But you need to sleep in order to rest yourself and restore your cells. When your cells are restored and healed,you'll even look younger!
Gabbi: Wake up younger? What are cells?
Me:  Ummm...cells are what your body is made of. Any living being is made of cells. Put cells together,you'll get tissues,put tissues together you'll get organs put all organs together and you will have a living being!!!
Gabbi: (Laughing hard) Uncle Zen, you're funny!!! So Angel (Angel is her pet dog) is also made of cells?
Me:  Yes! and the also the enemy of Gouko in Dragonballs is named Cell!!! (This is me trying to give a nonsense joke to a 4 year old kid)hahaha!!!
Gabbi: Yes! Dragons!!! They are cells also! (continued laughing)
Me: So,you should get some sleep so you will be better and be young as ever!
Gabbi:  Uncle Zen is different. He never gets old even if he sleeps. McDonalds kitty will be old soon...and Angel too! Do you know any dragons?
Me: Yes! Puff!!! He is a magic dragon!!!
Gabbi and Me: (Both of us are laughing!!!)
Gabbi: Is Puff your pet like Angel?
Me: No! But we sing a song about him!
Gabbi: Oh! I know many songs! Let's draw now before McDonalds kitty gets really old. (She continued laughing)

You NEED to hear it.

It was Friday, 18th of September 2006. Popped this dvd in my player,not so sure about the film but a lot of people told me that it is really nice. Hmmmm...i can't say if it is nice unless I watch it myself...I will watch it,it stars Jennifel Love Hewitt!^.^

" Ian:  I love you. 

Samantha:  I love you, too. 

Ian:  I want to tell you why I love you. 

Samantha:  It's raining. You know that, right? 

Ian:  I have to tell you this and you need to hear it. 

I've loved you since I met you... 

but I wouldn't allow myself to truly feel it until today. 

I was always thinking ahead. Making decisions out of fear. 

Today, because of what I learned from you... 

every choice I made was different and my life has completely changed. 

And I've learned that if you do that, you're living your life fully. 

It doesn't matter if you have five minutes or fifty years. 

Samantha, if not for today, if not for you... 

I would never have known love at all. 

So thank you for being the person who taught me to love. 

And to be loved. 

Samantha:  I don't know what to say. 

Ian:  You don't have to say anything.

I just wanted to tell you."

Curse me to smitherens! I can fully remember everything on that very night when I watched this film and it was 6 years ago! I can even remember how I felt. I am feeling it now!!! Damn! Damn me,damn my brain.

I watched this film because someone suggested that this one will be good for a movie class and so I did. I want to prepare for my class and I am sure that my students will have a lot of questions especially that this film is popular among my students. I can remember that I was holding a pencil,newly sharpened, and a pad of paper.

The film is obviously a love story and quite intense drama. This one just got me into thinking. We should tell our feelings to someone in any chance you get,in every moment that you can,in any way that you like as long as you can show what you feel for the person.

I don't really pay attention to love story themed films because I believe it is just fiction. It could never and won't ever happen in real life, but " If Only" was different. If only, indeed.

When I saw the date today,my brain suddenly brought me back to that very day. Sometimes I hate it, sometimes I would embrace it. I can make it work to my advantage, but every time I remember something, the feelings also come with it. The intensity of the feelings may not be the same but it still a feeling.

6 years ago,I watched this film. I watched it twice to pay attention to the details, I watched it again because Jennifer Love is acting and singing, I watched it again because I was able to feel and IF I am going to have a special someone, I won't take her for granted. IF that special someone comes along I am going to give my best to her and every moment memorable. She might be overwhelmed but I would want her to know, I want her to feel,do as she wishes.

Shall I welcome myself back here? After some hiatus, I am back...well, I am always here,just lazy in opening my blog. I do open it but never had the urge to write something. Just thinking about it. Now,I am typing what I am thinking...and there is nothing much,really!
I need to hone and sharpen my writing skills or else I will loose all of my ability. I haven't even reached the amateur stage. Starting this day, I am going to write at least a sentence everyday here in my blog,so it will have its use also. Nobody might read it except me but it will also work at my advantage,check my mistakes and then make revision. After all I am the strictest critique of meself.
Until then my dear blog. You are my world anyway.